Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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