He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
