No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We talked him into tasing himself.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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