I would go down on you faster than GM stock
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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