I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
