maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
