Your tits are I can't wait for
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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