Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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