Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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