would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
