Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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