My hand turned me down
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
