Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
