I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
