and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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