I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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