You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
