OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
