that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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