Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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