You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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