She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
