I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I am midnight drunk by noon
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
