Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
