I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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