dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
