All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
