Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
