So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
