when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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