But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
