If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
