You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
