Pappa wants mamma naked
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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