$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
