Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
