you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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