you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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