i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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