And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
