Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
