He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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