Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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