well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
