It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
