Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
