So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
