Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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