College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
