My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
