Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
did you just send me my own nude
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
