apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
