Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Quick, to the slutcave!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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