she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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